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Drop the Fear

Overcoming-Weaknesses2

At one time I lived in fear; of going to hell, of being alone, of dying, of financial ruin, of being out of work. The list of what I was afraid of was so long it seemed insurmountable. Fear was definitely smothering the life out of me.

One day I got so tired of having panic attacks, of always looking over my shoulder, of waiting for the other shoe to drop, I just gave up and stopped running away from my fears. One by one I bravely turned and faced them, carefully dissecting each one, looking for tangible facts, for justifiable reasons why I should hold onto the fear.

In the end I found very few valid reasons for any of my fears.  Yes, I will die one day. The only power I have is to take good care of my body, to keep myself safe the best I can, and to enjoy each day to the fullest. I prevent financial ruin by being fiscally responsible. And, so forth down the line.

Turing to face my fears was the action that released me from their grasp. I became the powerful creator of the best life possible when I stopped allowing fear to dictate my actions.

RYS 060: Lifestyles of the Happy and Content

In this Episode:

 

It’s not a bad thing to be rich and famous. However, being rich, famous, and good looking does not mean we will also be happy, content, and fulfilled. The truth is money does not make anyone rich. True wealth, true riches are based on your character.

• When every “thing” is stripped away who you are, inside, is what will always be most important.
• Regardless of what other people use as their benchmarks, you have to define success for yourself.
• To truly create your best life lead with your heart, rather than being led by your checkbook.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

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To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

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Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

RYS 059: Forgive Yourself so You can Forgive Others

In this Episode:

 

In my book I identified twenty-six behaviors you give and receive that feel loving. Forgiveness is one of those behaviors of love. When it comes to loving others well, forgiving yourself is vital so you can forgive others. Withholding forgiveness of yourself denies you peace.

• To be free of self-resentment, you recognize holding on to whatever you did to other people only perpetuates your pain.
• There is nothing to be gained by continuing to beat yourself up for what cannot be changed in the past.
• You can learn from your mistakes to grow your emotional awareness so you stop hurting yourself and others.

 

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

Attitude is Everything

sucky-attitude

At one time I walked through life with a chip on my shoulder. I thought being angry and sometimes rude would help keep me from being hurt. One day I woke up to the fact that the aggressive and defensive energy I put out was exactly the energy I got back.  And, when I honestly looked at my behavior I realized that I ended up being hurt much more as a result of that angry and rude chip.

I no longer have the view that other people are out to hurt me, or take what I want, or that they are going to use and abuse me. I believe the difference is that I realize the energy I put out is reflected back to me. While everyone I meet is not courteous and kind the vast majority are.  It seems the saying, ‘birds of a feather flock together,’ is true because today the loving, patient, and accepting energy I put out is returned to me so much more than not.

Looking back I would not have imagined that changing my attitude would make a 180 degree difference in the ease by which I now travel through life. I am so grateful that I no longer focus on what other people need to do. I am so grateful I learned that my best life is created by remaining focused on what I need to do to keep me happy, respectful and peaceful.

RYS 058: How to Stop Giving Painful Memories Power Over Your Present

In this Episode:

 

Most likely you will always remember the hurtful and traumatic life-events you experience, just like you remember the positive, wonderful ones. So I encourage you not to worry about forgetting. Forgive yes, but forget no. I assure you just because you don’t forget the painful memories does not mean they must continue to have power over you.

• By giving time and attention to bad memories you permit people who hurt you in the past to continue having power over you in the present.
• The bad stuff that happened in the past can only hurt you now if you choose to keep reliving it.
• Over time, with purposeful attention, you can retrain yourself to allow a negative memory to come in and go out without emotionally attaching any significance to it.

 

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

What to do When You Can do Nothing

Ripe citrus grove

My heart broke a bit recently when the son of the owner of my apartment building had the man who mows the lawn, badly, cut back the beautiful orange trees and a butterfly bush.  It may seem strange for me to be upset over the trees but the other tenants and I took pride in them. We even paid a professional to trim the trees to keep them beautiful and healthy. We value those beautiful trees.  We care for them, tend them, and nourish them.  The oranges they produce are some of the most delicious we’ve ever eaten.

Since the son of the 97 year old owner who never comes around is on site due to a down stairs neighbor’s death and a vacant apartment, he looked around for things to do.  He was angry with the man who mows the lawn because he does not do anything but mow and blow once a week.  So he wanted him to do something. Aha, I’ll have him trim the trees he thought. The problem is the trees were perfect since they were just neatly trimmed less than three months before.

We’ve been telling the landlord for years the man who mows the lawn is horrible but there is some sort of blind loyalty to him. Now the orange trees, the pride of the entire block, have been hacked by a hack who knows nothing about the proper trimming of trees.

Frustrated, discouraged, angry, abused, and discounted.  These are some of the ways the other tenants and I feel. Regardless how upset we are, no matter how we clearly see what needless damage has been done, in the end there is nothing, absolutely not one thing we can do about it.

How many similar situations do you encounter in life when you are completely powerless to do anything to positively effect change? How many times have you cared about what is right and best only to have someone negatively impact a situation because they did not have the same sharp ethical and moral vision and caring?  How many times have you encountered a frustrating situation when the answer is clear to you yet evades those who hold the power?

These type situations happen all the time. We are surrounded by people who operate at different levels of emotional awareness and responsibility. If we all led with our heart these type frustrating and needless situations would not occur. But we don’t all lead with our heart, to feel what it is like to be on the receiving end of hurtful, thoughtless, and irrational behavior.

So what do you and I do when we can do nothing? Surrender.  Yes, we abandon the idea people who behave irrationally should know better. In situations where we can do nothing, we surrender the hope we can reason with unreasonable people.  It’s not possible.  Our power is to surrender to the truth we cannot be heard by those who are not interested in listening. So we choose to let go of what we know to be right and best. We choose to surrender to the fact other people need hard lessons sometimes too in order to wake up their compassionate and responsible heart.

I know surrender seems like giving up. I know it feels like justice must be served because you and I can see the big picture with the eyes of our heart. But instead of seeing surrender as giving up, view conceding to what we cannot positively influence as bringing a higher level of awareness to the situation than what created it.  We are choosing our battles wisely rather than allowing ourselves to ego-box with those who do not care to see anything other than their point of view.

RYS 057: Good People Are Everywhere

In this Episode:

 

You and I are part of a worldwide collection of human beings who are devoted to doing our best to create our best life. We appreciate we are part of a human family, interconnected and dependent upon one another. We understand there is nothing to be gained from having an “us against them” attitude.

• Our self-love and respect come from leading with our heart to be one of the good people who are doing good things.
• Each of us has the ability to be the positive change agent we desire.
• The positive small actions we take daily do make a difference.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

RYS 062: The Goal, to Romance Your Soul

In this Episode:

 

Maybe all churches are not the same as the ones I’ve attended. My personal experience has been much more negative than positive. I think judgmental and controlling is the experience of many of us. Fighting with and judging one another over religion and ancient beliefs, is all about ego and attempts to control others.

• Religions were created by human beings. Soul was created by God.
• You are to establish a personal relationships with the God (Divine) of your belief.
• Just adopting the beliefs of others is not the way to establish a truly loving connection with the Divine.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

RYS 056: A Lie is Like a Boomerang, It Always Comes Back to Knock Us Down

In this Episode:

 

We cannot create trust, which is the foundation of all successful relationships, if we lie – even the little white ones. To lie is to intentionally deceive. But, people who lie cannot be trusted.

• Lying to cover up irresponsible behavior just makes us look like a double idiot.
• Fear is the driving motivation behind each and every excuse we create to justify lying.
• The stress and anxiety lying causes is detrimental to our physical and emotional health.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

Love is Acceptance

RYS-heart-v2-(07-09-2012)A

I knew I was gay around age four or five. I can’t tell you how I knew but it is not uncommon for gay people to know at such an early age. As you can imagine it was a secret I kept as long as possible. I dared not tell anyone. I knew exactly what would happen because each time I entered church or went to school it was made very clear just how much my “kind” was hated.

At age eighteen I finally told my parents and yes, my worst nightmare did come true. I was sent to a physician who sexually molested me. Then I was locked in a psychiatric hospital because they thought I was depressed. I was despondent because I’d just been violated and the two people who were supposed to love me told me I was a business risk, I was going to hell, that I broke their hearts, and I should go live at the YWCA.

My parents were taught to despise gay people while also having to make sense of contradictory messages such as “thou shall not judge” and “love your neighbor as yourself” and “treat other people as you want to be treated.” Now faced with their worst nightmare too, they feared being shunned by their religious, social and business communities.

Their solution was for me to change so they sent me to a psychiatrist in another town. I’ll never forget the look on my parent’s face when the doctor told them he would not and could not change me since I was born this way. What he would help me do was learn to accept myself in a world that flat out did not.

Today, my parents are two of my biggest fans and best friends. They no longer fear being shunned or hated themselves because over thirty-five years ago they began bravely questioning their beliefs. When they did, they found love is stronger than fear. Acceptance more loving than judgment. And, what other people think of me is not as important as what they know to be true of me.

It turns out my parents always loved me. They just had no clue how to accept me while also following their religious beliefs. Apparently they made peace with that because the only thing I now feel from them is complete and unconditional love. The same as if Jesus himself were loving me.