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RYS 134: When Self-first is Not Selfish

In this Episode:

 

You are an individual. So am I. As individuals it is only possible for us to be one half of the relationship we have with each other. Our goal in the relationship we have with each other is to be our best half. On the other hand, in the relationship we have with ourselves, you and I are the entire relationship. Our goal in the relationship we have with ourselves is to be whole by loving ourselves first, so we know how to love each other well.

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RYS 133: Your Love is Strong, But …

In this Episode:

 

If  I had a magic wand I’d touch it to the hearts of those who hurt others and yet claim to love. If I had a magic wand I’d touch it to the hearts of those who allow themselves to be hurt by others and yet claim they are loved. One of the biggest misconceptions we have about relationships is that we have the power to change another person.  If we’re just more understanding, patient, loving, open, scream louder, say it in a different way, etc., then he or she will wake up and get it.  If it were that easy I would wave my magic wand and the world would transform overnight.

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RYS 132: It Takes Two to Tango

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I don’t know how to dance the Argentine Tango with its virtually unlimited improvisational opportunities or the American/International Tango where specific steps and patterns are learned for competitive events. If I want to be part of a successful dance team, whether it is for competition or just out for fun on Saturday night, I first have to learn how to dance. The same is true of my having successful relationships because those also require me to be able to move in rhythmic partnership to an ever changing dance of interpersonal dynamics.

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RYS 131: How I lost 63 Pounds and How I Keep it Off

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At one time I was obese. The short answer to how I lost the extra weight is, I worked my rear end off through exercise to burn the 220,500 calories necessary to get back down to 130 pounds. The long answer is that before I hit the gym, before I committed to a new habit of eating healthy, and before I could care for my physical body as a daily lifestyle, I had to confront my emotions and why I was stuffing them with food.

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RYS 130: Attention Deficient No More

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When I was younger I spent much time daydreaming.  In school, in church, while watching television, when mom and dad were talking. I was constantly distracted by my thoughts. Needless to say I was not a good student. So while pursuing my master’s degree I genuinely wanted to do my best. I consulted a psychiatrist who, after a long series of tests, diagnosed me with Attention Deficit Disorder. Aptly so, since I was so easily distracted I could not finish reading one sentence without my mind carrying me off to whatever it got distracted by.

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RYS 129: Financial Responsibility Buys Happiness

In this Episode:

In Cabaret, the 1972 movie based on the hit Broadway play, Liza Minnelli, Joel Grey and cast sang these lyrics in one of the movies most memorable scenes. “Money makes the world go around, the world go around, the world go around. Money makes the world go around, that clinking, clanking sound of, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money.”

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RYS 128: Get Away From the Everyday

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Life can easily become monotonous. Daily routines become ruts. Ruts become habits. Habits become comfortable whether the habit formed is positive or negative. Doing the same actions over and over, driving the same routes, watching the same television, listening to the same music, eating the same foods also become routine, or a rut, or habit. However I find much of my satisfaction and happiness stems from the new experiences I have that intentionally take me away from the everyday.

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RYS 127: I am Getting Married

In this Episode:

Growing up gay I did not give much thought to getting married. Until recently it was not legal. So when Barbara and I decided to make our relationship official, I had not taken time to sit with what being married to her truly means. Possibly it is because not much will change since we’ve been living together as partners for over 12 years. But, on this wedding eve I am now thinking deeply about why I am eager to say “I do” tomorrow.

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RYS 126: Listening to Our Whistleblowers

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You and I are impressed with people who bravely stand up to injustice. We consider those who blow the whistle on corruption, irresponsibility, neglect, abuse and practices that harm us, the environment and animals, to be superheroes. But often listening to our own personal whistleblowers is a completely different story. Our prideful and defensive ego is not eager to have people call us on our negative behavior.

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