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When my little buddy Austin was born his parents and all who know them were given a gift we did not anticipate. None of the prenatal tests revealed he would have Down syndrome – a genetic disorder caused by the presence of all, or part of a third copy of chromosome 21. Initially, it was easy to go down the road of sadness for how he will be treated, how he will live and thrive, how he will be happy in the world having to deal with physical growth delays and mild to moderate intellectual disability. But it did not take long for sadness to be replaced with deep joy at the gift his parents and all of us receive from knowing their special son.

Austin’s heart is so BIG he comforts those who are sad. He goes up to strangers and gives them a hug. He is always smiling, filled with joy and wonder. He is so connected to the kind, compassionate, loving part of his heart he beams LOVE in all directions. A LOVE so palpable, everyone with whom Austin interacts is touched by his presence and changed for the better. In my book, that makes Austin an angel who was created by LOVE to help teach us how to LOVE one another, with non-judgment, respect and kindness.

On Monday, February 29, 2016, I woke up almost completely blind in my right eye. Within a few hours I was in my ophthalmologist’s office. He confirmed I had suffered a huge retinal detachment, including the macula where vision is keenest. By noon I was undergoing a procedure to reattach the retina. Within the course of 12 hours I went from being almost blind to being able to see again.

There was a period of healing and blurred, distorted vision. For over a month, in my vision, was a huge air bubble that had been injected into my eye to hold the retina in place while it healed.  Both the injection and bubble were extremely disconcerting. But I got used to it and one day I noticed the bubble was gone.

Three short months later, the doctor released me from his care.

While I’ve always had an appreciation for my sight, I must say after losing vision for several hours, my gratitude deepened substantially. YES, I was blind and now I can see; not only with my eyes, but I SEE the world more clearly with my heart – that grew bigger as a result of growing my gratitude bigger.

I consider myself to be a morally guided person. By that I mean I weigh the consequences of my actions before I act. I work hard to stay polite, understanding, kind, patient, calm, and to create win-win situations.  I listen to understand others. I work to communicate clearly. I attempt to see the big picture. I support others as I want to be supported. And I am devoted to living as a person who values being a person of values.

SO, I don’t want to be represented in government by people who do not weigh the consequences of their actions BEFORE they act. I don’t want to be represented by rude, closed, racist, arrogant hypocrites. I don’t want to be represented by people who are devoid of a personal moral, ethical and spiritual code of values.  I don’t want to be represented by anyone whose view of the world is myopic and inaccurate.

I have a spiritual responsibility to elect the best people possible – those who lead with the moral compass of their heart to work for all of us, not just some of us.  True servant leaders are running and they need YOU and ME to make certain they are elected. You and I must change business as usual in Washington.  We must vote for people who care about you and me.

In eighth grade I had an angel who helped me get through a challenging time in life. I knew I was gay and there was no one to talk to, no one to confide in. I was all alone with a secret I could not even take to God since I was taught God hated me for being gay.

Mrs. Dubose was my gym teacher. She was kind. She looked out for me and always asked how I was. She genuinely cared about whatever I was going through without knowing what I was going through. While I did not share the inner turmoil I lived with, her kindness was exactly what I needed to keep going.

When Barbara and I were making arrangements for our wedding dinner we chose a small room at the restaurant that fit the number of guests and our budget. It was a nice room and our guests would have been comfortable. But deep down I really wanted the Terrace room, with twinkling lights and sliding skylight. We signed the contract for the smaller inner room but I still asked God for the magical Terrace. Then I completely forgot about my request.

The night we arrived for our wedding dinner we went to the room but it was not set up as we’d asked. There were blue table cloths, silver napkins, and no flower arrangements. Right before panic set in a waiter appeared and opened the double doors that led to the Terrace. It was set up beautifully, just as I imagined in my prayer to God.

When the waiter told us we’d been moved to the Terrace I began to cry. God listened and gave us a magical gift for our wedding dinner.

Thank you for listening, God. I know not everything I ask for I get. But when I do, I am truly blown away by and grateful for your love. 

I truly believe God wants what is best for us just as we want what is best for us. So when we are faced with a challenge it takes faith to be patient, to stay determined and to remain positive.

I lost my executive position right before 9-11. I got up each day, for eighteen months, determined to try one more time. Sure I was concerned how I was going to pay the bills, so I found work picking up cigarette butts before a lawn moving crew. I took whatever job I could to make ends meet. I applied for dozens of jobs. I got turned down for dozens of jobs. Days, weeks and months past.

As a full-time personal empowerment coach my job is to hold the heart safe of those who work with me. I lend them my strength. I share my experience of what did and did not work for me to heal, and take my power back from the challenges I faced. I give emotionally and spiritually until they can do so on their own. It can be draining. I hear the most heart-breaking stories, deal with the most wounded egos, and for a time become their loudest cheerleader and biggest fan.

I’ve always given 100% of myself in every employment position I’ve held. And, this is different, more beautiful, more rewarding, filled with love, and heart, and hope, while being the most challenging work I’ve undertaken.

It’s a huge responsibility to hold someone’s heart safe. It’s also a huge honor. What I get when someone stands on their own two feet, possibly for the first time, is worth every moment because it shows me time and again we are not too wounded to heal. Often all it takes to heal, is having someone believe in us. I am so grateful when I get to be that someone. 

One of the MOST important things I’ve learned is healthy relationships need healthy boundaries. Setting boundaries is not only necessary in our relationships with other people, establishing limits of the behavior we will tolerate is vital with ourselves also.

To break a 22-year habit of smoking, I had to set a boundary of not smoking. To stop eating without awareness, I had to set a boundary of being responsible for everything I put into my mouth. To lose the extra 63 pounds, I had to set a boundary of keeping my exercise schedule. To set a boundary against my depression, I had to make myself get up, get moving, and get busy helping others. To no longer spend more than I made, I had to set a boundary that resulted in financial responsibility. To stop behaving co-dependently, I had to set a limit on MY behavior.

Everything I changed about myself was the result of being emotionally invested in the outcome so that I made myself take the actions necessary to realize the goal. It was by setting and maintaining boundaries with myself and other people that I truly become in charge of my health, body, finances and destiny.

Occasionally people post or send me private emails stating they do not like me, or this page, and that I can go f _ _ _ myself. Shocking I know, and there was a time I took the misguided anger of people personally. Through experience I’ve learned when people communicate things like this it is not personal – they are hurting. They lash out at those close to them, or strangers, or people they perceive to be happy and healed – not believing the happiness and peaceful life they want is also possible for them.

It takes HUGE self-control and yet the best response to people who lash out is kindness and compassion. Unless we are in immediate physical danger, we turn the other cheek and do not react or get hooked into an ego-boxing match. We walk away choosing not to add any more fuel to the fire. We accept hurting people hurt people; until they choose to end their suffering by looking within rather than lashing out.

I was walking my little dog, Ruby, when we approached four high school age young people. As we passed I could hear loud music coming from their ear pods but I did not recognize it or think anything about it. Around twenty steps past the group I heard one of the girls say, “I can’t believe we were listening to that music when the old lady and her dog walked by.”

Old? Who was she calling old? Certainly not me? I looked around for someone my mother’s age (90s) but alas I was all alone. Yes, the young girl had called me old. Wow! This is the first time I am aware anyone has called me old.

When I think about it I agree I must seem old to someone who is 14 or 15, even though most of the time I don’t feel a day over 21. The truth is I am 59 and certainly OLD enough to be her mother and more likely her grandmother.

Isn’t it funny how we see ourselves so much differently than other people do? But, hey – I’m still not old.