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RYS 022: Boundaries Create a New You for the New Year

In this Episode:

The Solution is One Resolution

I no longer make a list of New Year’s resolutions. For way too many years I set myself up declaring all the things I was going to change about myself, yet did not stick with long enough to actually achieve the change I wanted. Then I would spend the next eleven and a half months beating myself up for not keeping the resolutions I made. So this year join me in breaking the habit of making a long list of resolutions. Let’s identify one thing to concentrate on, one new skill that we can master to the point we make it a consistent part of our new 2015 life-style.

• Good relationships have good boundaries
• Saying NO is not selfish
• Big difference between love and rescue

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

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To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

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Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

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Don’t Abandon You

For many years I was afraid of being abandoned. I clung to friends and the people I dated so tightly I smothered them with my insecurity.  In the end, every one of the, “I must have you in my life” relationships ended.

At the time I did not realize the fear of being abandoned had nothing to do with other people and everything to do with me.  One day I realized other people are not responsible for never leaving me.  I am the only constant in my life.  So my fear of abandonment, while rooted in childhood, was really about how I was abandoning myself.

Each time I did not stay aligned with my principles and values and went along with the crowd, or when I allowed other people to abuse me, or when I was financially irresponsible, or when I went against what I knew in my heart was best for me, or I looked to someone else to make me happy, I was actually abandoning myself.  WOW! What a wake up call to realize giving my personal power away to create my best life was actually abandoning myself.

I have not feared being abandoned for many years.  I cannot make other people stay in my life and it is not comfortable to have people who are clingy and fearful of being abandoned in mine.  When I accepted I am the best friend and biggest supporter I’ll ever have, and that my happiness and peace is the result of doing my best to remain true to myself by behaving with impeccability, I released the fear of being abandoned.

RYS 021: Slow Down to Speed Up

In this Episode:

Do you feel overwhelmed like you’re running a race and are struggling to keep up? Does it seem you’re always on the go, frantically rushing from one thing to another, desperate to check another item off your to do list? Are you cramming in so much that you’re moving through life disconnected from the present, disconnected from other people, from the natural world, from truth, and from your emotional, feeling heart?

• Stress comes from skimming through life.
• The quality of life is found in the details.
• Slowing down you’ll actually get more done faster.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

RYS 020: We Cannot Change Other People But we Can Love Them

In this Episode:

 

Feelings of powerlessness, disappointment, stress, and resentment come from holding on to a fantasy of what we want someone to be rather than accepting the truth of who they really are. Consistent actions are proof of who someone is. The truth is, their behavior is telling us who they are.
• Believing what someone says while ignoring their opposite behavior is not loving yourself or them.
• Your love does not magically create change in others.
• The only love powerful enough to motivate someone to change anything about themselves is self-love.

 

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

My Covert Christmas

Little Regina for FB

I was around five when I decided it was a great idea to let my parent’s sleep in on Christmas morning. I took my little sister by the hand and we quietly snuck into the living room. I closed the door then plugged in the Christmas tree lights. I sat my three year old sister down in one of the overstuffed chairs.

One by one I handed out the presents. I separated my mom and dad’s and put them next to two empty chairs. I put Rachel’s in front of her and put mine next to me. Once I’d crawled around the back of the tree on my hands and knees to make certain I’d gotten each and every present, we settled back for some serious clandestine gift opening.

When we got finished we both went in to wake up our parents to tell them about all the gifts Santa brought. I’ll never forget the look on their faces. My mom cried and my dad looked so sad. Neither of them got mad. In fact they both quickly assured us that Santa wasn’t mad either but that mom’s and dad’s like to watch their children open gifts. But, they did make us promise we’d never again open presents without them.

It’s been over fifty years since that covert present-opening operation. My mom remembers that Christmas in our little house on Mistletoe Street in Victoria, Texas as if it were yesterday.  I do too and I will for the rest of my life.

Merry Christmas!

RYS 019: The Real Reason for the Season

In this Episode:

 

Today is Christmas eve and there aren’t any presents under the Christmas tree this year for the five Wanoa children who live in southeastern Queensland, Australia. It’s not because their parents Nicky and Tee can’t afford to buy their children presents. Quite the opposite is true as the children receive much throughout the year. No, Nicky and Tee are not choosing to endure the wrath of family and friends who are calling them Santa Killers and other dirty names just to be frugal. They are intentionally and bravely challenging the status quo of gifts being the way to show love and to create happiness within their children. Nicky and Tee want their children to learn the real reason for the season.

 
• Presence will always be more important than presents.
• The greatest gifts are those of our time and attention.
• Imitation of Jesus is the sincerest way to honor his birth.
 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

Move On When You Know It’s Time

There was a time I refused to take the actions I knew were best for me, and in the long run, for everyone concerned.  I refused because I thought myself a failure if I gave up. So I stayed in a relationship long after the lessons I needed to learn were over. I was stuck by the excuses that I could somehow make it work, or get the other person to change, or that I just could not break the commitment I made. I bought the fear and guilt based rationalizations until the day I realized I was suffering greatly and everyone around me was too. Not just because of the negative relationship but because we were not taking the actions we knew in our heart were best.

Too often we stay in negative situations for all the wrong reasons. If we know deep in our heart it is, and has been, time to go then we need to seriously and honestly look at the excuses, fear, and guilt we are allowing to stop us from doing what needs to be done.  We also must remember that our actions serve as examples for others.  Do we honestly want the people we say we love to continue to endure what we are enduring? Do we want them to put aside self-love and respect because they do not have the courage to love themselves more by removing themselves from a continuously negative situation? Do we really want to show them how little we respect ourselves by choosing to remain in our suffering rather than choosing to free ourselves?

Often we think we are wrong for leaving or giving up. We need to remember that when a relationship has run its course, we know it beyond doubt in our heart.  So what makes us wrong is not leaving but continuing to subject ourselves to the negative, to the suffering.

Love is courageously doing what we must to care for ourselves and for others.  Yes, moving on hurts. But the pain is bearable by knowing that doing what needs to be done to end to our suffering will, in the end, be best for everyone involved. Even if the other people involved do not change. We have changed ourselves by bringing a higher level of awareness by refusing to continue making negative contributions to a relationship while calling it love.

 

RYS 018: Treasure the Healing Power of Pleasant Memories

In this Episode:

 

My life sucked at times but there were many good times too. I think it is extremely important to intentionally remember the good times. Going back to remember all that did go right in our lives gives us encouragement to heal what needs to be healed from our past so we can create more pleasant memories in the present.

 
• The past offers a connection to our history and our roots.
• Focusing on good memories allows a clearer perspective of our complete history.
• Good thoughts make us feel good.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

RYS 017: Love Lets the Little Things Slide

In this Episode:

 

No matter what we do, no matter how many times we ask, there are minor things about those we love that we just have to let go. They are not going to change. We can’t get them to change. Maybe they are working on changing other, more important things about themselves. Maybe they just don’t want to. Minor irritations are not worth wasting our precious energy.

• You and I are not perfect and neither are those we love.
• Love lets the little irritations slide.
• Love appreciates we all have different ways of doing things.

 

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

Tell People You Appreciate Them

L

I was walking behind a man who was smoking. He stopped, dropped the cigarette on the sidewalk and crushed it out with his shoe. Almost everyone I see smoking flicks the still lit butt into the street or on the sidewalk. For too many years that is exactly what I did until I became conscious of the negative impact my cigarette butts had on the environment, animals, children and other people. So I was very surprised when the man bent down, picked up his cigarette butt and put it into the trash can.

“Thank you so much,” I said. He looked completely surprised as he took my extended hand. While holding his hand in mine I said, “I really appreciate you putting that into the trash can.” He said, “You’re welcome. I always dispose of them. Since I smoke it is my responsibility to clean up after myself.”

As he turned to leave I said, “You are a good man. Have a wonderful day.”  “Thanks, you too,” he replied.

Responsible people rock. This week look for those who do responsible things and thank them.  Supporting others in doing the right thing will make you feel good about you too.