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RYS 035: Create Relationship Win-Wins

In this Episode:

 

Everyone wants to love and be loved. But for many years I had no clue what loving and being loved really meant. Too often I experienced love as control. Too often I experienced love as expectations. To receive love I was expected to behave in certain ways. The problem was that it never felt loving when people expected things from me.

• Love makes agreements while it is ego that has expectations.
• When both people are in agreement the relationship flows.
• Fear cannot grow where love is the agreed upon foundation of a relationship.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

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If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

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Shopping is Not Good Therapy

Character-makes-one-rich

There was a time when I compulsively shopped to surround myself with things.  For me collecting stuff meant I was successful. One day I woke up emotionally and accepted the fact I was surrounded by things which never really made me happy.  I realized if I lighten the load I would feel better about myself.

First, to de-clutter required me to stop the purchasing cycle. When I compulsively shopped it was an attempt to fill the holes within my heart.  Shopping therapy is not healthy as it is one way to distract ourselves from core issues we are not addressing.  Part of the healing process is recognizing things will never provide the emotional satisfaction we want.  To heal emotionally we must look inside and deal with the reasons we are surrounding ourselves with things. In fact, confronting our issues is the only way to gain freedom from them.

Second, I went through every room, drawer, closet, etc. and selected items that were not needed or wanted.  Items hold energy.  I made certain to keep only those things that hold positive energy for me.  I sold, donated, or gave away everything I no longer wanted or needed.

Third, I made and kept a promise to myself I would not replace the objects. Instead I looked inward to find the peace, balance, and identity for which I longed.

Success, satisfaction and fulfillment do not come from what we collect but from the relationships we establish. With ourselves and with others.

 

 

RYS 046: Gratitude is the Way to the Happiest Life (podcast) https://romancingyoursoul.com/rys-046/

Can you find Happiness in Challenging Circumstances? [Video]

 

RYS 034: Let Go of The Idea People Should Know Better

In this Episode:

 

Often we believe our parents and other adults should know better than they do because they are older. Or we think other people should know better because we know a better (kinder, positive, loving) way. One hard truth of life is that just because you know something does not mean everyone does. Another is that just because someone is older does not mean they are emotionally mature to behave better than they do.

• Perpetuating an angry victim identity causes us to spiral downward into a state of constant annoyance, blame, and a lack of self-respect.
• Holding onto “they should have known better” is permitting the people who have hurt us to continue having power over us in the present.
• Freedom comes from accepting that only when people know better on an emotional level do they do better.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

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To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

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Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

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Don’t Let Yourself Be Controlled

Often control is confused with love.  But, love is not control.

That does not stop people from attempting to control us. From our career to choosing our partner, other people feel free to force their decisions on us. Often they are so blinded by what they want they do not attempt to understand our point of view and desire to create the life we want for ourselves.

The positive action we can take with someone who is controlling is to speak with them openly, honestly and candidly.  Calmly and patiently express our desires.  Remain rational and non-emotional.  That means, we do not get angry or frustrated.  Simply state what is true. We convey the truth that no one can know what is best for another. We remain respectful yet determined.

If they still do not listen or consider our position then we develop a plan to remain aligned with what we know is best for us.   It will not necessarily be easy, yet in the end it is worth it, as we are unique individuals who are meant to dream our dreams and create our own best life.

We must be self-supportive and hang in there. We stay committed to not letting anyone prevent us from achieving our dreams. It is by dreaming beyond the limitations of others that we indeed change ourselves and the world for the better.

RYS 033: Only Doing Gets Things Done

In this Episode:

No, life does not have an easy button. Yes, everything is easier said than done. BUT, nothing gets done unless we stop talking and start doing.

• While action does takes effort, that effort is always positively rewarded.
• We feel powerful when we take charge of ourselves.
• Positive action creates self-love, respect, and worth.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

RYS 32: Love Others by Taking Good Care of Your Body

In this Episode:

Intentional and consistent self-care is not only one way we love ourselves. It is also a way for us to love others.

• We get one body in this life.
• Tomorrow is not promised so the actions you take today are the ones that matter.
• Without good health we cannot have the best quality of life.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

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Consistent Behavior is Proof of Who We Are

Often I am contacted by people whose partner repeatedly cheats and then wants their significant other back again.  At the time, the cheater seems so remorseful that the people being cheated on want to believe them. Then it happens again and they reach out desperate to find out how to change their betraying partner for good

The truth is we cannot change anyone but ourselves.  People who promised to be faithful then cheat do not love and respect themselves enough to remain committed to the agreements they make in relationship.

For those being cheated on their power lies in changing how they are allowing themselves to be treated. The first step is to accept the truth of their cheating partner’s behavior. Action, not words, are proof of who someone really is.  The emotional roller coaster is created by clinging to the fantasy of how someone hopes the partner will behave someday rather than accepting repeated behavior as evidence of who the person is, today.

To protect our emotions, we must set firm boundaries. We must clearly and calmly tell the cheating partner how the behavior feels. “When you betray my trust and the agreement we made to be faithful to one another, I feel violated and abused. I need honesty and to know I can trust you in order for this relationship to work.  Please address your issues or I will leave the relationship.”

If the cheating partner truly wants to keep the relationship then setting a firm boundary may get them to look at their behavior. If they refuse to get help or to actively work on their issues, we must be prepared to do what is best for us. If we continue to allow ourselves to be betrayed and do nothing then we are saying to them that their behavior is okay.

Regardless if a cheater changes or not the stress, disappointment and disloyalty we feel must end.  We are the only person in the position to make sure it does by setting a boundary out of greater love and respect for ourselves.

 

RYS 31: Don’t Believe What People Say You Should Believe

In this Episode:

 

The people who teach us what to believe, answer our questions, and mirror society’s behaviors, are passing along what they’ve been exposed to. Love, support, and acceptance are learned, as are injustice, hate, and bigotry. So just because you’ve been taught to believe something doesn’t necessarily make it true. Likewise, just because you’ve been taught not to believe something doesn’t necessarily make it false.

• Opinion is not fact.
• Only by asking questions of ourselves and the world can we improve.
• It’s easy to follow the crowd but not necessarily wise to do so.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

Lead By Example

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There are moments when I feel surrounded by rude people.  It seems I often run into the thoughtless and negative behavior of others. But, no matter how frustrating some people’s self-centered behavior is, we can’t change anyone but ourselves.  And we cannot fight fire with fire and expect not to get burned.

That means ego-boxing with self-absorbed and rude people only fuels them.  No matter what kind of jerks they are, our happiness and peace depend on refusing to stoop to their level.

Instead of focusing on trying to change others lets concentrate on stopping rudeness once and for all. The cure begins at home.

People must be taught values, courtesy, respect and patience.  Right now too many of us are rushing around with eyes only on our own agenda.  To stop this we as parents and as a society must place greatest value on being people of values. Those of us who do value kindness, compassion, and respect must do our best to instill these same values in our children. We seek out friends and those we associate with the same positive values too.

Our world will change when we set boundaries against unacceptable behavior from those we have the power to influence.  When more of us care about being people of polite and respectful behavior, then those who are self-centered and rude will stand out even more. Standing out is what puts pressure on others and that is when change happens.  And, we must also stop allowing reality shows, opinion television, and sarcastic, me-first television to teach our children how to behave.  Bullying stops when we stop bullying. In our homes, at the office, in schools, and on television we have to make behaving like a jerk unacceptable.

er whom we have influence.

RYS 030: You Are Not Meant to Be Like Anyone Else

In this Episode:

 

Do you compare yourself to or compete with others? It is a joke to entertain the notion we should be like another person. We were born to be unique. Like a finger print and snowflake you and I were designed to be an individual unlike any other human being.

• Comparing yourself to or competing with anyone always leaves you feeling bad.
• When you allow your uniqueness to shine without comparison or competition you will be happiest and most fulfilled.
• Healthy competition is that which you do with yourself.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE