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RYS 029: Grass is Greenest Where You Water It

In this Episode:

You may have heard the saying the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I happen to like the variation author Erma Bombeck created in her bestselling book, The Grass is Always Greener over the Septic Tank. It’s not necessarily true grass is greener on the other side of the fence. It is true grass is greenest where it gets the attention, water, and nutrients it needs to flourish.

 

• Happiness, success, joy, peace, etc., must be grown.
• What we pay attention to is what grows in our life.
• The more effort we put into something the better the outcome.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

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To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

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Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

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There’s No Magic Wand to Get People to Change

Portrait of a boy with the map of the world painted on his face.

It is easy to look for change and improvement to come from outside ourselves. We want our parents, partner and friends to improve their behavior.  When they don’t we get disappointed. We feel stuck and frustrated.

If we only had a magic wand life would be so much easier.  Well, we don’t have the power to change other people with the flick of our wrist.  The only power we have is to set boundaries against unacceptable behavior, to forgive, and to be responsible for how we behave.  When we take responsibility for communicating clearly, for listening intently, for speaking as we want to be spoken to, we lead by loving example.

Often other people change their behavior when we change ours.  It is not something we expect, but a frequent positive outcome from loving ourselves enough to be an example. Changing ourselves for the better is the power we have because changed people often change people without trying.

 

RYS 028: How to Survive a Relationship Breakup

In this Episode:

I’ve been in several relationships with partners, business associates, and friendships that for whatever reason did not work out. Sometimes when a relationship ended it was easy. Thank goodness it was over and I could move on. I was finally free of someone who was not right for me. But several times it hurt like hell to let go.

• When someone leaves us the most important issue we face is not how to get them back.
• Every relationship teaches us something about ourselves and others.
• Love does not cling to a fantasy of what we think should be when reality is different.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

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Express Anger in Healthy Ways

Anger is healthy, when expressed in the appropriate way.  What is not healthy is stuffing your feelings. If you suppress your feelings they will grow and eat at you, often building inside until you explode.

Repression of emotions is one of the major causes of addictions, abuse, depression, and disease in our culture. In many families, emotions are either repressed or expressed in abusive ways. As children and young adults we’re too often told being angry is bad and we should just move on.  When I got angry I was punished or shamed into repressing my emotions.  I felt rejected and my emotions discounted.  When I’d express I was angry, sad, fearful, disappointed, I was told, “Oh no, you’re not feeling that.” As a child I learned to mistrust my own perceptions and repress what I felt.

If we do not express anger in healthy ways we tend to turn that anger inward.  Often that turned in rage becomes physical abuse. We cut ourselves, abuse ourselves with substances, we spend without responsibility, smoke, do drugs, behave recklessly, feel entitled to behave as we please without assuming responsibility for our actions.  The rage my father often expressed taught me that it was okay to express my anger inappropriately by raging.  His frequent abuse of alcohol taught me to turn to substances to deal with the anger I was repressing.

When you get angry do something to let it out.  Don’t keep it bottled up inside you.

Healthy expression of feelings gets the angry, hurt or scared energy out of your body without hurting property, yourself or any other person or animal. Run, walk fast, punch a punching bag, or yell into a pillow.  Whatever activity you choose make certain it does not harm you or anyone or anything else. Focus on the feeling of release and freedom you get from moving the stuck anger energy out of your body. Remember it is absolutely okay to be angry, but never okay to be abusive.

RYS 027: How to Live Without Regret

In this Episode:

Life can change in a heart-beat. One day we’re coasting along then BAM we get directed down another road. The truth is, we’re not ever going to control life and the challenges and changes that arise. Attempting to keep ourselves, life, or other people from changing, is as futile as trying to collect water in a colander.

• Change is inevitable but we can always choose our attitude toward change.
• Focusing on regret keeps us trapped in a state of perpetual sorrow, disappointment and feeling powerless.
• We do have power to take action to prevent events that can cause regret.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

RYS 026: Love is Powerful to Heal any Relationship

In this Episode:

 

Betrayal can be repaired. Love is powerful so don’t throw away a relationship you have invested in. Don’t just give up. There is always an opportunity to make a relationship right when both people want to do so.

 

• Trust is the foundation upon which successful relationships are built.
• Betrayal tears down trust and respect.
• Trust and respect can be rebuilt.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

Drop the “Should” Word

Throughout my life I’ve heard advice from people on how I should be doing this or that. While most of the people mean well, telling me what I should do still feels like judgment or condemnation.

There is a fine line between offering supportive counsel and putting our expectations onto others.  We may have experience in a certain area that we want to share, but there are other ways to convey that advice without using, ”You should…”

While “should” is a popular and overused word in our vocabulary, it is not appropriate when sharing thoughts on how to live our best life, because it feels judgmental.  It is not possible for another person to know what is best for us. Telling someone he or she “should” do something is placing our expectations on the other person.  The loving thing is to share advice that is supportive rather than judgmental or condemning. For example changing, “You really should dump that looser guy you are dating” to “If the values and behavior of the man you are dating are not in line with yours, it may be good to step back and seriously reevaluate the relationship.”

I believe we will stop unintentionally placing judgment, expectations and condemnation onto others when we care how our advice feels to the person we are counseling.  You and I can lead the way to be the change we want to see by refusing to use the word “should.”  And, we can gently and respectfully point out to those closest to us how it feels to hear that word.

RYS 025: Appreciate the Amazing Gift That is Life

In this Episode:

You and I are only a single part of life on earth. Romancing Our Soul is recognizing the value of the wisdom of Chief Seattle:
Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things are connected.

• The greatest gift we ever receive is the gift of life.
• Life in all forms is sacred and precious.
• It is healthy for you to regularly spend time in the natural world, to grow appreciation for your outdoor home.

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE

 

Apologize Without Expectations

Someone is angry with me and yet he has, so far, not had the courage to tell me why.  Apparently something I did, that I am unaware of, made him mad. I’ve reached out asking for an explanation, for him to tell me what he thinks I did. I am willing to listen.  And I am willing to peacefully and respectfully talk through the situation so we can reach a point where we both feel comfortable again. But I am not being given the chance.

Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect. And, both parties must respect themselves enough to deal with the negative that sometimes arises in relationship. When one person in the relationship is unwilling to honestly address issues he or she has, then the other person is left helpless to do anything to resolve the situation.

It is not easy being blamed for something you are unaware you did.  But when you have asked, when you are willing to do whatever it takes to heal the relationship, and you meet silence the only choice you have is to let go.  Have faith the truth will come out. When it does you can make amends if you have indeed wronged someone. Until then, remember you are showing your true nature by wanting to resolve the issue. And, the true nature of the other person is being revealed too.

RYS 024: Love Expresses Emotion in Healthy Ways

In this Episode:

 

No matter how smooth and fulfilling life is there will be times when you get angry. You are going to get frustrated, disappointed, be inconvenienced or experience pain as a result of other people’s behavior. It is healthy to acknowledge emotions like anger or frustration. It is not healthy to suppress upsetting emotions or to take it out on other people, animals, or yourself.

 

• Emotions cannot be stuffed to be dealt with at another time.
• Repression of emotions is a major cause of addictions, abuse, depression, and disease in our culture.
• Love encourages the healthy expression of emotions and never discounts what another person is feeling.

 

Romancing Your Soul ™ is a show where Regina gives you the keys to create a joyful life. In a world filled with limitless challenges and stress, who can listeners count on for real-life solutions? Just check in with Regina Cates, acclaimed author, positivity junkie. Regina is a champion of heart whose common sense tips will make your relationships better, your communication clearer, and your boundaries healthier.

 

Regina PC cover 300x300

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

 

Click Here to Subscribe Via iTunes

Click Here to Subscribe Via Stitcher

 

Leave a Review for the Podcast

If you haven’t left a review I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a minute to leave a rating and review of my podcast on iTunes by clicking on the link below! It’s extremely helpful for the show and getting my positive words out worldwide.

As a ‘Thank you Gift’ for your review, please send a email with “I left a review” in the subject line to: Regina@RomancingYourSoul.com letting me know you left a review, and I will send you my pdf on “How-to Set Boundaries Out of Love for Yourself”.

To leave a review, click HERE. When you get to the next page, click the blue button “Listen in iTunes”, listen to an episode, and click on “Ratings and Reviews” across from my photo. I am grateful for your review!

To receive a FREE chapter of my book “Lead With Your Heart”. Fill in your name and email under…Join Our Heart Family and Receive a FREE Gift! Click HERE.

 

Follow us on Facebook HERE