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Self-Control is Part of Self-Love


Occasionally people post or send me private emails stating they do not like me, or this page, and that I can go f _ _ _ myself. Shocking I know, and there was a time I took the misguided anger of people personally. Through experience I’ve learned when people communicate things like this it is not personal – they are hurting. They lash out at those close to them, or strangers, or people they perceive to be happy and healed – not believing the happiness and peaceful life they want is also possible for them.

It takes HUGE self-control and yet the best response to people who lash out is kindness and compassion. Unless we are in immediate physical danger, we turn the other cheek and do not react or get hooked into an ego-boxing match. We walk away choosing not to add any more fuel to the fire. We accept hurting people hurt people; until they choose to end their suffering by looking within rather than lashing out.

RYS 135: Your Life Mission – BE Happy

In this Episode:


Life is filled with so much joy, satisfaction and inspiration. No matter what challenges you face you are in control of how to best deal with the ups and downs of your relationships, career and health. The goal is not to have a perfect life. The goal is to create a happy life, no matter what.

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Staying Young is a Choice

Ruby and Regina 11-2-2012

I was walking my little dog, Ruby, when we approached four high school age young people. As we passed I could hear loud music coming from their ear pods but I did not recognize it or think anything about it. Around twenty steps past the group I heard one of the girls say, “I can’t believe we were listening to that music when the old lady and her dog walked by.”

Old? Who was she calling old? Certainly not me? I looked around for someone my mother’s age (90s) but alas I was all alone. Yes, the young girl had called me old. Wow! This is the first time I am aware anyone has called me old.

When I think about it I agree I must seem old to someone who is 14 or 15, even though most of the time I don’t feel a day over 21. The truth is I am 59 and certainly OLD enough to be her mother and more likely her grandmother.

Isn’t it funny how we see ourselves so much differently than other people do? But, hey – I’m still not old. 

RYS 134: When Self-first is Not Selfish

In this Episode:


You are an individual. So am I. As individuals it is only possible for us to be one half of the relationship we have with each other. Our goal in the relationship we have with each other is to be our best half. On the other hand, in the relationship we have with ourselves, you and I are the entire relationship. Our goal in the relationship we have with ourselves is to be whole by loving ourselves first, so we know how to love each other well.

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It’s Never Too Late


I was 43 years old before I was confident being me. It happened only after I stopped wanting someone else to be my loudest supporter and biggest fan and I started being these for myself.

I was also 43 when I experienced true emotional intimacy for the first time. It happened only after I stopped trying to have it with someone else before I had established it with myself.

And, I was 47 years old before I found my right partner. It happened only after I stopped focusing on finding someone and concentrated completely on being someone worth finding.

I am grateful to have reached these personal growth milestones even if it took half my life to achieve them. The rest of life can be fantastic even if the first half was challenging.

Hang in there because how long it takes is not what is important. Eventually achieving peace, self-acceptance, self-respect and love, is worth each and every moment.

RYS 133: Your Love is Strong, But …

In this Episode:


If  I had a magic wand I’d touch it to the hearts of those who hurt others and yet claim to love. If I had a magic wand I’d touch it to the hearts of those who allow themselves to be hurt by others and yet claim they are loved. One of the biggest misconceptions we have about relationships is that we have the power to change another person.  If we’re just more understanding, patient, loving, open, scream louder, say it in a different way, etc., then he or she will wake up and get it.  If it were that easy I would wave my magic wand and the world would transform overnight.

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One Way to Love Your Family


It’s hard watching the news about the passing of Prince. At 59 I know how young 57 is and how much life lay in front of him. We don’t know exactly what happened. In the coming weeks we’ll find out more about the cause of his untimely death. Today we are learning Prince died without leaving a will.

My aunt passed away last year without a will so I know firsthand the additional suffering Prince’s family will go through as the courts decide how to divide his current estate and future earnings. It will take years of possibly heated legal battles. Attorney fees will slowly eat away at his vast fortune. And, maybe a will or trust documents will be found sparing his family this unnecessary additional heart-break.

I know you and I don’t like to think about the end of life but please do so. One of the most important ways you can show love for your family is to have your affairs in order. Please, please, please take time to listen to my podcast on the importance of this subject. Just as Celine Dion’s husband, Rene Angelil did, getting your affairs in order NOW, is indeed a self-less act of love.…/rys-119-a-self-less…/id935173998…