Month: May 2018

Occasionally people post or send me private emails stating they do not like me, or this page, and that I can go f _ _ _ myself. Shocking I know, and there was a time I took the misguided anger of people personally. Through experience I’ve learned when people communicate things like this it is not personal – they are hurting. They lash out at those close to them, or strangers, or people they perceive to be happy and healed – not believing the happiness and peaceful life they want is also possible for them.

It takes HUGE self-control and yet the best response to people who lash out is kindness and compassion. Unless we are in immediate physical danger, we turn the other cheek and do not react or get hooked into an ego-boxing match. We walk away choosing not to add any more fuel to the fire. We accept hurting people hurt people; until they choose to end their suffering by looking within rather than lashing out.

I was walking my little dog, Ruby, when we approached four high school age young people. As we passed I could hear loud music coming from their ear pods but I did not recognize it or think anything about it. Around twenty steps past the group I heard one of the girls say, “I can’t believe we were listening to that music when the old lady and her dog walked by.”

Old? Who was she calling old? Certainly not me? I looked around for someone my mother’s age (90s) but alas I was all alone. Yes, the young girl had called me old. Wow! This is the first time I am aware anyone has called me old.

When I think about it I agree I must seem old to someone who is 14 or 15, even though most of the time I don’t feel a day over 21. The truth is I am 59 and certainly OLD enough to be her mother and more likely her grandmother.

Isn’t it funny how we see ourselves so much differently than other people do? But, hey – I’m still not old. 

I was 43 years old before I was confident being me. It happened only after I stopped wanting someone else to be my loudest supporter and biggest fan and I started being these for myself.

I was also 43 when I experienced true emotional intimacy for the first time. It happened only after I stopped trying to have it with someone else before I had established it with myself.

And, I was 47 years old before I found my right partner. It happened only after I stopped focusing on finding someone and concentrated completely on being someone worth finding.

I am grateful to have reached these personal growth milestones even if it took half my life to achieve them. The rest of life can be fantastic even if the first half was challenging.

Hang in there because how long it takes is not what is important. Eventually achieving peace, self-acceptance, self-respect and love, is worth each and every moment.