Forgive, But Set a Boundary

Big Girl BootsI was recently betrayed by someone who told me what they knew I wanted to hear rather than telling me the truth. The truth would have meant they lost money but honesty would have saved the relationship and my respect for them. Instead they intentionally chose to lie.

I am so GRATEFUL to have learned dishonesty ALWAYS is revealed in time. Doing the right thing, being the better person and choosing the high road is not easy but it is SELF-LOVING. Sure, we may lose what we want (money, power, position, person, a thing) but in the end, standing up for what is right, making ourselves do what we know is best, always results in our peace, happiness, being respected and respecting ourselves.

It hurts this person chose money over me. But their dishonesty is hurting them MUCH more.

And if you are curious, I did forgive, but also removed them from my life. I set the permanent boundary because instead of taking responsibility for the lie, they attempted to create another lie to get themselves out of the first one. When this happens in our relationships WE don’t need any more evidence or to give another chance because avoiding responsibility is proof of who someone really is now, regardless what we want to believe their potential may be.

A Mother’s Love

Mother 5-11My 91 year old mother regularly visits a retirement home. There is a woman she visits who is almost bedridden. Her son does not come to visit and she cannot see well enough to read. So she sits there day after day alone waiting for a visitor to break up the silence and loneliness.

Recently mother told me she is going to get the woman a television for her room so she has something to do, so she won’t feel so lonely. She will have access to news and in some small way will hopefully still feel part of the world outside the four walls of her tiny room.

When I grow up I want to be like my mother, who is the kindest and most thoughtful person I know. I want to be the woman who reads to the blind. Who visits the shut ins. Who is able to buy a television for someone so they can make it until my next visit. My mother is pure love, the kind of love God asks each of us to be.

To Respond, or NOT

On Facebook I was private messaged a pornographic video. It was homemade, shot up close and disgusting. I am proud to tell you I reported it and banned the person from my page. Oh, and I told my mom who was sitting in her chair watching TV.

You and I cannot control other people. We cannot know the reasons they do some of the strange and often abusive things they do. YES, sending porn to someone who did not ask to see it is ABUSE.

I know other people’s behavior can be disturbing but we don’t have to let it disturb us. It is not personal. He sent the video to see how I would respond. I did not and would not. Who wants to engage with a stranger who thinks so little of himself or me that he would send such a thing. No, after so many years of doing it the other way I am so happy to have learned, there is no benefit to engaging because we cannot reason with unreasonable people. To keep our peace of mind we simply report, remove and move on.

Happy for Other’s Happiness

rs_560x415-140303112623-1024_Diana-Nyad-jmd-030314When you love someone you are happy for their happiness. Well I am super happy for my sweet Barbara. As a private yoga instructor Barbara works with high profile people like celebrities and people in the movie industry. But recently she got to work with one of my personal heroes and a true living legend.

Remember Diana Nyad who successfully swam from Cuba to Florida – the only human being to ever do that? And she did it at age 62. Yep, Barbara did yoga with her.  That so Rocks and I am so very happy for Barbara’s excitement and happiness at meeting and doing yoga with one of her personal heroes too. Life is filled with such wonderful surprises.

Things are Just Things, Unless

IMG_0416Things are just things unless they take on emotional significance. Such is the case with this ceramic tree of life.

It is very important to my mother because it belonged to her late sister. When my aunt passed away last year mother brought this home and put it where she could see it ever day. It’s been over a year since my aunt passed but to mom it seems like just yesterday. So she is grateful to now have this “thing” that meant so much to her sister.

I told mom today that if it is okay with her, I want the tree of life someday. She said of course. While I truly hope that day is many years off, I know there will be a time when I take this home and put it somewhere I can see it each day. Because this “thing” now has a permanent home in my heart too.