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Let’s come to terms with what it really means to be a man. – by David Albert

“Be a man.” God only knows how many times I’ve heard this. To all the boys and men, my dad and two older brothers, and to that particular young woman I briefly (actually not briefly enough) dated in college, who tried to impart their infinite wisdom about manliness on me, I say, “thanks, but no thanks.”

Men, it’s been said over and over again how we’re the best, the strongest, and oh, so powerful, and so, very, very important and, uhhh, great—don’t forget great! But seriously, we just sound like a bunch of assholes, don’t we?

So here’s what I know. Being a man basically means being a kind and decent person who just happens to be male. Now truth be told, it’s not always easy to be a nice guy—my wife would gladly offer her long list detailing all of my particular faults to prove it. But guys, I think our greatness actually shows up when we’re able to take that deep down hard look at ourselves and ask “who am I, and how do I want to be in this life?”

This passage from the book “Rules for a Knight” by Ethan Hawke has been helpful to me—check it out: Rule VIII, Honesty~ “A DISHONEST tongue and a dishonest mind waste time, and therefore waste our lives. We are here to grow, and the truth is the water, the light, and the soil from which we rise. The armor of falsehood is subtly wrought out of the darkness and hides us not only from others but from our own soul.”

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What it means to be a man and how men are to treat women? by Charles Morse

When I spend very much time thinking about these questions, I immediately recognize that the 2nd question is a result or consequence of the first.  How I see myself, my identity, and my vision for manhood will directly impact how I treat all others, including women. How I think about myself and my responsibilities is projected into all my relationships.  My treatment of others is a reflection of how I think.

A friend of mine once pointed out that in the movie scenes of my life, I’m in every scene and of course I’m going to think life is about me and how I feel.  If I think everything is about me and my feelings, I will project this “self-focus” into how I act as a man and how I treat others.  I will get angry because I didn’t get what I wanted and someone owes me more respect that I was shown.  I will get jealous because someone got something that I didn’t.  I become greedy because what I have is mine and all mine. I feel guilty because I didn’t do what I thought I should and now I owe someone something. Attitudes of anger, jealousy, greed, and guilt are all reflections of how I see myself in light of others around me. My experience and observation is that this is not healthy, for myself or others.

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We Don’t Grow by Staying in Our Comfort Zone

I know how tough it is to move beyond our comfort zone. Being uncomfortable is not pleasant. We do almost anything to avoid discomfort. However, beautiful things come from challenging ourselves to learn and grow because you and I are alive to become the best version of ourselves.

  • We must face our fears and defeat them.
  • We must courageously turn and face our past rather than run from it.
  • We must push ourselves to be the best we can be which requires we get out of our comfort zone.


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Loving my wife introduced me to my inner woman.

Kameron and Caleb

By Caleb Moody

Yes, loving my wife introduced me to my inner woman, and it’s made me more of a man.

I grew up in Texas during the 80s.  The husband/wife dynamics modeled for me both in my own family and in the culture I grew up in were very traditional.  Men would chat and watch football, women would cook in the kitchen and serve food.  Each member seemed to be in somewhat separate worlds which didn’t often overlap.

As I grew into adolescence and began forming my own ideas about relationships, I remember realizing that I wasn’t looking for someone to wait on me, to wash my laundry, to buy my clothes.  I didn’t want a motherly subordinate, I wanted a strong independent person who would challenge me and walk with me through our life together as an equal partner.

I remember so vividly the day I met my wife. We met at a garage sale.  Along

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Does What We Eat Make Us Sick?

Dawn Wilson
Dawn Wilson

After 20 years of producing and hosting television shows, my guest, Dawn Wilson, has a new passion to help awaken the world to the dangers of herbicides and pesticides sprayed on our food. Dawn shares how saving her mother’s life put her on this new path.  She also brings our attention to the fact there is no requirement to list what herbicides and pesticides are used on food crops. Research points to a dramatic spike in cancer and autism rates since the 1970s when spraying food crops with Glyphosate became the norm.

  • As consumers, we must accept that too often profits are more important to some companies than our health.
  • Eating organic and educating ourselves to the dangers of herbicides and pesticides is vital to maintaining our health and that of our children.
  • It’s important to research and support companies that do acknowledge the dangers of using herbicides and pesticides on our food crops.

Visit Dawn’s website and join her email list. www.glyphosateresiduefree.com

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The gratitude guarantee.

gratitude

There was a time when my focus was on things I did not have. For many years, my glass seemed to be half empty, until I realized I was the one holding the pitcher. I changed my point of view from one of lack to one of gratitude. Through hardship and loss, I began to see life’s glass was actually full to overflowing.

Dealing with physical pain over a long period of time wore me down. After a while, life was dull. I found less joy in daily activities, and the constant discomfort kept me on edge. Every day I woke up focused on the pain. Each evening I went to sleep wishing something would change.

When I received news that my twenty-nine-year-old cousin had been killed in an automobile accident, I experienced a dramatic shift in the way I viewed life. Physical pain turned into a positive sign that I was still alive. It was surprising to discover how much my pain decreased when my focus changed from living in pain to appreciating the life I had.

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Thriving After Great Loss and Cancer

Jean Wall
Jean Wall

My guest for this episode, Jean Wall, discusses something we all know to be true – there is no easy button to life. Jean and her family have gotten hit hard by the challenges and disappointments life presents and yet they have an attitude of gratitude. Two natural disasters, a flood, and a hurricane destroyed their home. Her husband was downsized from his job and the company he devoted 24 years to, refused to give him the pension he’d earned. And Jean recently received a cancer diagnosis.

  • Jean shares there is so much we cannot control that happens to us in life, but we can control our attitude about how we face life’s challenges.
  • Tragedy can bring out the best in us when we choose not to see ourselves as a victim.
  • Family and friends are so important in helping us survive and thrive when life presents tough situations.

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We are here to help each other.

Support

By Tim Moody

I saw him as I pumped gas in my car at the Shell Station. It was hot outside and he was sitting in the shade in front of the convenience store. An older man, thin, African American, with a scruffy two or three-day growth of white stubble and shaggy salt and pepper hair. As I walked into the convenience store to get a soft drink he smiled at me with uneven teeth. There was a warmth in his smile. He didn’t ask for anything. But I knew he was there to accept any change anyone might give him.

I returned to my air-conditioned car and stared at him for a minute. As I drove out I went around to where he was and rolled down my window. I motioned for him to come over. He slowly got up and walked to my car. “Yes sir?” he said. I handed him some cash and said, “What is your name, friend?“ He said, “Carl.” I said, “You have a good day, Carl.” He smiled and put his hands together and bowed and said, “Oh, God bless you, sir. God bless you.”

I don’t know his situation. But whatever it is I felt an urge to connect with him in some small way. I wanted to know his name. A name carries our identity. It’s the

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Parenting in the Age of Technology and Bullies

Kristen Cannata
Kristen Cannata

I sit down with Kristen Cannata, a mother of two young boys, to discuss how she navigates the world of parenting in the age of technology and bullies. She talks about the need for children to appreciate that the interactions they have with people, animals, and the natural world are always more satisfying and important than an iPhone, TV, computer, or iPad.  And how essential it is for children to learn how to treat others as they want to be treated.

  • Part of loving children is showing them how to behave so they treat themselves and others with respect and kindness.
  • Children need to know life is not perfect and that there will be situations where they have to deal with challenges such as bullies.
  • Parents must take care of themselves so they can be fully there for their children.

 

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RYS 137: Love Listens to Understand

Have you ever seen a UFO? Or been visited by little gray, not green, aliens?  I have. Which taught me there are millions of us with millions of different experiences. We cannot all have the same experiences. That’s why it’s so important we listen to one another to understand rather than simply dismiss each other because we have not personally experienced the same.

  • You can imagine how surreal and strange it must be to grow up with a secret you are not able to share with anyone for fear of being labeled crazy.
  • Finding others who share the same experience is comforting because you can’t be crazy when someone, anyone, steps up and says, “Hey, that also happened to me.”
  • Each experience you and I have in life is a unique opportunity to grow our sympathy, empathy, and compassion for others.

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