When I spend very much time thinking about these questions, I immediately recognize that the 2nd question is a result or consequence of the first. How I see myself, my identity, and my vision for manhood will directly impact how I treat all others, including women. How I think about myself and my responsibilities is projected into all my relationships. My treatment of others is a reflection of how I think.
A friend of mine once pointed out that in the movie scenes of my life, I’m in every scene and of course I’m going to think life is about me and how I feel. If I think everything is about me and my feelings, I will project this “self-focus” into how I act as a man and how I treat others. I will get angry because I didn’t get what I wanted and someone owes me more respect that I was shown. I will get jealous because someone got something that I didn’t. I become greedy because what I have is mine and all mine. I feel guilty because I didn’t do what I thought I should and now I owe someone something. Attitudes of anger, jealousy, greed, and guilt are all reflections of how I see myself in light of others around me. My experience and observation is that this is not healthy, for myself or others.