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Focus on You


Have you ever wished you had a magic wand?  You could wave that magically stick and people would change and at last your life would be happier, flow easier, and everything would be okay.

I grew up on fairy tales. Deep down I always knew magical wands are not really real but I stubbornly clung to the idea if I just screamed loud enough, harped long enough, bitched strong enough people would change and my life would suddenly be magical.  Never happened! Not once did anyone change because of my wanting them to.

Man I held on to that misguided and wrong notion for so many years.  I grew up witnessing my parents try to change one another.  Attempting to get other people to change seems to be part of how we relate to one another in relationship.  But no matter what a magic wand salesman tries to tells you, we cannot change anyone else. To create your best life accept you can only change yourself.

Work on identifying things about yourself and your behavior that are preventing you from creating your best life and the most fulfilling relationships possible.  Do you interrupt when someone is speaking, or do you listen to understand?  Do you assume responsibility for your actions?  Are you working hard each day to be kinder, more patient, to communicate clearly, and to forgive? What are the dreams you have that you want to achieve in life?  How will a partner help you achieve your dreams and how can you help them to achieve their dreams?

The greatest relationship you will ever have in life is the one you have with yourself.  So work on getting to know you inside and out, your warts and your strengths. Part of self-love is focusing on you so you can be the best half of all the relationships you have with others.