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There’s No Magic Wand to Get People to Change

Portrait of a boy with the map of the world painted on his face.

It is easy to look for change and improvement to come from outside ourselves. We want our parents, partner and friends to improve their behavior.  When they don’t we get disappointed. We feel stuck and frustrated.

If we only had a magic wand life would be so much easier.  Well, we don’t have the power to change other people with the flick of our wrist.  The only power we have is to set boundaries against unacceptable behavior, to forgive, and to be responsible for how we behave.  When we take responsibility for communicating clearly, for listening intently, for speaking as we want to be spoken to, we lead by loving example.

Often other people change their behavior when we change ours.  It is not something we expect, but a frequent positive outcome from loving ourselves enough to be an example. Changing ourselves for the better is the power we have because changed people often change people without trying.