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Healthy Boundaries Create Healthy Relationships


At one time I was a doormat. People walked all over me. They abused me and used me. I hated myself for being weak, for not standing up for myself, for being a doormat.  Until one day the resentment and anger grew so big I exploded.  But the emotional eruption did not make me feel better.  The only thing that stopped me feeling used and abused was to stop allowing myself to be mistreated.

People will treat us as we allow them to. People will not know how to treat us unless we let them know.  We can’t be afraid of rocking the boat or that we won’t be liked.  Who cares if we are liked by people who mistreat us, or use us, or treat us like a doormat?

A boundary is a limit we set to protect and take care of ourselves.  Boundaries let other people know our availability, values, and the conditions under which we will interact.  Establishing a boundary about how we want to be treated or how we must take care of ourselves is not about control or manipulation.  We do not set boundaries to change other people.  We do so to change us – to create a better, more positive life for ourselves by demonstrating a commitment to self-love and respect.

Learn to say no. Don’t be a doormat thinking people will like you for doing what they want you to do. Respect yourself enough to not go against what you know is right and best for you. The right people will respect you when you respect yourself enough to set boundaries out of love for yourself.