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You Must First Have it to Give


A big misconception we have is that it is possible, and often our duty, to love someone more than we love ourselves.  I was raised to believe this.  I was supposed to love a religious savior, or God, or another person more than myself. So I spent much of my life attempting to do this and I failed miserably.

Why? Because love is more than affection or caring for someone or something; love is behavior.  To love is to be kind, patient, forgiving, loyal, honest, etc.

It is only possible to be forgiving with another when I forgive myself first.  It is only possible to be honest with another if I am honest with myself first.  It is only possible to give patience, loyalty, and kindness to someone else when those qualities are first within me to give.

Loving ourselves first is NOT selfish as some of us are taught to believe.  Giving the behaviors of love to ourselves, making them a real and consistent part of our everyday interactions, is the only way we can give love to another.